A New Season, But You're Still Grieving: The Reality of Breakup Grief in September

September is often seen as a month of fresh starts. Summer comes to an end, children return to school, routines begin again and there’s a sense of looking ahead.

But what if you’re not ready for a fresh start?

If you’ve recently experienced a breakup or separation, September can bring a surprising wave of emotions. While everyone else seems to be getting back into normal life, you may still be trying to work out what your new normal looks like.

And that’s because the end of a relationship can involve real grief.

Recent UK research from YouGov highlights just how difficult breakups can be. In its August 2026 survey, 70% of Britons who have experienced a relationship ending said they find getting over a breakup difficult. Almost half (46%) said they had found it difficult to recognise that a relationship needed to end.

It’s easy to think that when a relationship ends, you’re simply grieving the person. But often, you’re grieving much more than that.

You may be mourning the life you thought you were going to have. The shared home. Familiar routines. Holidays and plans. Family traditions. Mutual friends. The person you expected to grow old with.

You might even be grieving a version of yourself — the person you were when you were part of that relationship.

When September makes the loss feel more real

The return to routine can sometimes bring feelings to the surface that were easier to avoid during the summer.

Perhaps you’re returning to work and facing questions from colleagues. Maybe your children are going back to school and you're adjusting to a new co-parenting routine. Or perhaps you're simply noticing that the person who used to be beside you isn't there anymore.

September can also create an expectation that we should be moving forward. New season, new routine, new chapter.

But grief doesn’t work according to the calendar.

There is no correct point at which you should stop missing someone or suddenly feel ready to embrace your new life. You can know that a relationship needed to end and still feel heartbroken about its ending.

You can be the person who chose to leave and still grieve. And you can feel relieved that it’s over while simultaneously missing what you had.

You don't have to rush your fresh start

Perhaps this September, instead of expecting yourself to move on, you can simply acknowledge that you’re adjusting to a significant loss.

Healing isn't about forgetting the relationship or pretending it didn't matter. It’s about gradually finding your way towards a life that feels like yours again.

If you're experiencing the grief of a breakup or separation, counselling can offer a safe space to explore what you're feeling without judgement or pressure.

I offer one-to-one counselling in Forest Row, Hartfield and East Grinstead, alongside walk-and-talk sessions in the local countryside and online sessions across the UK.

If you're unsure whether counselling is right for you, I also offer a free 15-minute telephone consultation. It’s a chance to ask questions, tell me a little about what you're experiencing and get a feel for how I work.

If you’d like some support as you navigate this period of change, please feel free to get in touch via email: annabelwardtherapy@gmail.com or phone: 07595 396 304. You can also find out more about my counselling and how I work at: www.annabelwardtherapy.co.uk